A large family is something both my husband, and I come from. I am one of 4 and he is one of 5. Very early on in our relationship we discussed that we wanted a large family ourselves. Although maybe not the most conventional way, and we are not there yet we love the busyness, and truly wouldn’t know what to do with an only child. Not that there is anything wrong with an only child, but our personalities, and experience prove that we thrive best with a large fam jam! Here are some benefits I currently see, and know will come in the future.
- You learn early on in life that compromise is king, and sharing is queen. When there is always someone to play with, that means there is always someone to fight with, share with, and compromise with. You don’t get what you want every time you want it, so in order to live in a peaceful house, kids must learn sharing, and compromising skills from an early age. This is so crucial to making any relationship work.
- Friend Making Skills – Due to the ability of learning to share and compromise, kids that come from a large family usually have an easier time making friends at school, and at sports and activities. They tend to be more outgoing, and open to relationships because they already have a lot of experience in all the aspects of a friendship/relationship.
- Independence and Responsibility – There is no room for baby-ing in a large family, not all of the time anyways. Kids learn to dress themselves quicker, to be more helpful, to contribute to the family at an earlier age.
- They grow up to me more generous, giving and loving. Kids learn empathy at an earlier age. A sibling bond is so tight that they don’t want to see their brother or sister hurting. They learn to give a toy or a hug to make their sibling feel better. They realize it feels good to make others feel good.
- Problem solving skills – again going back to compromising and sharing, kids figure out quickly what to do, to get their way, and to achieve what they want to achieve. I see how quickly my daughter learns to distract her younger sister with another toy in order to get the one she wants. Problem solved.
- I’m bored is not a phrase heard often. In large families there is always someone to play with, and something to do. That “pesky” I’m bored phrase is not something this mama has to deal with.
- It makes you a better parent – not only are you dealing with multiple personalities, and honing your parenting skills in order to best parent each child, but you must be much more organized, think more, pray more, and love more.
- House Hold Work – Many hands make for light work! More bodies to contribute to the cooking and cleaning. Of course the messes are larger to begin with, but I sure am thankful when my oldest daughter offers to the dishes. I am a fan of letting kids be kids, but learning all sorts of skills that will help them in the future is a plus in my books.
- Large Group Discounts – For certain things, families over 4 will get a discount on more children. For example our family gym membership, we have to pay for 2 adults and 2 children, and then any other children are free! Sweet!
- Always someone to love you – My kids love me so much. They just want to be around me all the time. They want me to read to them, play with them, colour with them, play sports with them. Even if I am having a bad day, a hug and a kiss from just one kiddo makes my day, imagine how I feel when they all are showing me love! SO blessed. I realize they will be teenagers soon enough, and this may change but one day they will give me grandbabies that will adore me. So much love in a big family!
- Busy, fun, loud holidays. Even if one can’t make a family holiday event (in the future) there will always be a house full of love and laughter. Family is the most important thing in life and I will take a messy, busy, loud house over any other option.
We have 2 children now, but we have had 6 foster babes come through our home. In the past 9 months our 3 bedroom house has been filled with 6 people most of the time. All under 4 (well except us old parents). It has been crazy, busy, tiring but oh so good! We are anxious for the day that we will be able to adopt, and won’t have to say goodbye to these kids that we love so much! My dream of a big family will some day come true but until then we love the kids that come through our house like they are ours forever!