I want to share with you an unexpected development and how I cope with the emotional roller coaster that is the foster care court system.
The social worker called. I could tell by his voice it wasn’t good news.
We have been waiting and waiting for this upcoming court date next week.
So much anticipation. Will this be the moment that will forever change our lives? Will this be the first real step to forever with our foster daughter Rosie?
It’s been 3 years, 9 kids and a lot of prayers to get to this moment.
A lot of laughs, way more tears and a whole lot of frustration.
You see Rosie has had no contact with any of her bio family for months and months. We are the only family she knows.
A few weeks back we got an email that a family member had called the agency, to say that her parents were going to sign their rights away. I was in shock and awe at this news. So grateful that her parents were being selfless and making the best decision for her.
Until a couple days ago….
Mom contacted the agency after all this time and says she will be at court with her lawyer and has started implementing services and actions to “work her plan” given to her by the agency 14 MONTHS AGO.
My heart fell. I instantly felt sick. We were soooo close and now we seem so far away.
You see any tiny bit of progress even after 14 MONTHS OF NO PROGRESS, means things will be delayed. For who knows how long. I’ve heard the horror stories, these kids caught up in a broken system. I was just so hopeful that Rosie wasn’t going to be one of them.
As I sit here I can’t help but cry.
We want to give her the world, we want to give her a family. She deserves forever. She deserves people willing to show up for her every single day.
She doesn’t deserve this.
Now I can’t finish this blog post without touching on how this makes me feel about her bio mom.
A woman who is a complete stranger to her. The only connection was 9 months in the womb and less than 48-72 hours of seeing her in her entire life. I’m angry with her for not showing up for her, I’m sad for her because of her circumstances, to be honest, the compassion I used to have for her is starting to dwindle.
I feel sad for her and I do truly wish that she could have been what Rosie needs. But she isn’t. She’s had more than enough time in my opinion to prove that. It’s time for her to stop being selfish and give Rosie what she deserves.
I am PRO-REUNIFICATION. I was trying to help her mom. I have tried so hard.
But now it’s too late.
Why does our system allow this? Why are their legal laws that a permanent plan has to be in effect by 1 year but it isn’t really followed?
Why are these precious children who have already been through so much, constantly let down by the system? Why aren’t these kids seen as more than just another name on a piece of paper?
I will never stop fighting and advocating for what is right for Rosie. I’m non-confrontational but I feel like I have been silent on this issue for too long.
Rosie and all the other kids in her situation deserve SO MUCH MORE.
It is so easy to feel so defeated on this journey but as much as my human emotions can try and take over, I am just so thankful that God has got this. He loves Rosie and even though my timeline and His may not match, I have no fear that He will protect her.
So today when it feels like it’s hard to keep on this journey, when I feel like bricks just got dropped on my heart I am deciding to choose joy. This is how I cope. All week long my verses of the day and daily devotions have been pointing at the topic of joy. Before I even got this news this week, God was reminding me of all the things I need to be joyful for. He is reminding me that right now she is here and I have gotten to see her grow up for 14 months and to be joyful in that. He is reminding me that I am not the one in control, that He is and there is so much joy in that.
I went live on YouTube yesterday talking about all this, letting you know the options for what can happen at court now and connected with other foster and adoptive moms in the live chat so if you are interested in more, please check it out.
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