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FAITH Foster/Adopt Our Journey

Foster Care Family Court…not what we hoped for

07/06/2018
self care

I went to foster care family court. For the first time.

Not because I didn’t want to go before, but because I wasn’t allowed to.

Here in Ontario, your foster child has to be with you for 6 consecutive months before you are allowed to be at court.

I wanted to go last time, but I got the run around from my agency because I guess here in Ontario it is not something that foster parents typically do.

I talk to many foster parents in the states, and I know they have the right to go right from the beginning. I wish it was that way here in Canada as well.

I have shared before how foster parents are treated like glorified baby sitters even though in some cases, like Rosie’s we are all she knows.  Her bio family are strangers to her, her workers check in once a month but WE, we do everything for her.

She has no idea she is in foster care.  I’m her mom, Greg’s her dad, and Lilia and Marissa are her big sisters. Oh and Nica is her puppy. (cah’ was her first word)

As her mother and the one doing everything for her, I feel I deserve to be at court from the beginning but thats besides the point.

I finally got permission to go.  Court was 3 days before her 1st birthday. I had so much anxiety and anticipation leading up to this day.

I thought for sure, something would happen. I don’t know if it was the workers text 3 months ago about  “we hope to have it settled by the next court date” or just the fact that she is almost a year and the permanency plan is “supposed” to be in effect legally at the year mark.

I was stupid to get my hopes up.

I was stupid to think that the legal system would be in align with what my mama bear protectiveness thinks that Rosie deserves.

To me, the sun rises and sets with her smile, but that doesn’t mean anyone else involved in the decision making process for the rest of her life even cares.

To them she is a name, on a piece of paper, in a pile of many other papers that bog down our foster care family court system.

To them another 2 and a half months means nothing.

To them she is just another foster kid.

To me?

She is the missing piece to our family.

She is my daughters little sister, just as if she came from my womb.

She is the apple of her daddy’s eye.

She is fiercely loved.

She is God’s child.

She is SO important. 

In our training to become foster parents we heard over and over “in the eyes of the child” and “from the child’s perspective”  well I call BS on that.  Certainly with the judicial system. I mean if no one shows up for this child’s court case for 3 court dates over the span of 7 months then why not adjourn for another 2.5 months. Why not put our daughter’s and our whole families life on hold for another 2.5 months…

I have lost faith in this system that is supposed to protect kids. The lies, the “what you want to hear” and the quarterly adjournments are just too much.

christian parenting

I will never lose faith in my God. He loves Rosie more than I do. He will give her hope. He will protect her. She has fought from the very beginning of her little life. She has fought and she has overcome. She will get her happy ending. If it takes to my last breath, I will fight along side her. I will pray fervently. I will trust in God’s plan for her life.  Peace be still. 


Peace Be still: The Belonging Co. Feat Lauren Daigle

“I don’t want to be afraid, every time I face the waves

I don’t want to be afraid, I don’t want to be afraid

I don’t want to fear the storm Just because I hear it roar

I don’t want to fear the storm I don’t want to fear the storm

Peace be still Say the word and I will

Set my feet upon the sea Till I’m dancing in the deep

Peace be still You are here so it is well

Even when my eyes can’t see I will trust the voice that speaks

I’m not gonna be afraid ‘Cause these waves are only waves

I’m not gonna be afraid I’m not gonna be afraid

I’m not gonna fear the storm You are greater than it’s roar

I’m not gonna fear the storm I’m not gonna fear at all

Peace be still Say the word and I will

Set my feet upon the sea Till I’m dancing in the deep

Peace be still You are here so it is well

Even when my eyes can’t see I will trust the voice that speaks Peace peace over me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe Let faith rise up in me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe Let faith rise up in me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe Let faith rise up in me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe Let faith rise up in me

Peace be still Say the word and I will

Set my feet upon the sea Till I’m dancing in the deep

Peace be still You are here so it is well

Even when my eyes can’t see I will trust the voice that speaks

Peace peace over me Peace peace over me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe Let faith rise up in me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe Let faith rise up in me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe Let faith rise up in me

Let faith rise up Oh heart believe it Let faith rise up in me

Peace be still Say the word and I will

Set my feet upon the sea Till I’m dancing in the deep

Peace be still You are here so it is well

Even when my eyes can’t see I will trust the voice that speaks

Peace peace over me Peace peace over me”

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  • Reply
    S
    07/12/2018 at 8:39 am

    This is a beautiful read also heartbreaking . My situation is very, very different. But the waiting and not getting a decision is aweful. My little guy has been in the system for 3 years now. With me for 2.5years of that. Yet we are STILL waiting. I am told 3 months. TBH I will believe it when I see it. Adoption isn’t going to be the final outcome (it’s not how the system works in NZ). But ‘Home for Life’ is. He DESERVES permeancy.

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