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Family Foster/Adopt Our Journey

The beginning of the End – Adoption Update

08/28/2018
foster to adopt story

Adoption Update

I know so many of you have been following our family’s journey to adopt our sweet Rosie.

If you are new here Rosie is our foster daughter. (Number 8 out of 9 foster loves we have cared for since December 2015) We have had Rosie since she was born, we visited her in the hospital the first few days of her life and brought her home when she was 3 days old and have been loving her ever since.

foster care adoption

It has been a huge roller coaster of ups and downs but we are nearing the end.

We have court in 2 weeks which one way or another her biological parents rights will likely be getting terminated. I say likely because you just never know with foster care and it is a way of protecting my heart.

She has been our daughter for almost 14 months. She hasn’t seen her biological parents in many many months. We almost don’t feel like foster parents because other than the monthly visits with her social worker and her various medical/therapy appointments we don’t do any foster care “stuff” No visits, no team meetings. She just feels like our daughter.

This is wonderful and heartbreaking all at the same time.

We wanted to adopt a child who truly needs a family, and help to reunite families who just need some help.  We did not get into foster care to keep families apart but to help them stay together.

We have always had the desire to adopt and give a child a home who truly needs it. Not all families can reunify and the need for adoption is there. I strongly believe every child deserves to grow up in a family.

We are so thankful that it is looking like we get to be Rosie’s family forever. We honestly cannot even imagine life without her. She is every bit our daughter.

fostering to adopt

The heartbreaking part is her mom is losing her forever. She will not get the chance to be reunified once her rights are terminated. Now people like to give all sorts of opinions. Things like “she doesn’t deserve her back,” “she is a horrible mother” and “Rosie is better off” and yes maybe some of these things have truth to them but it doesn’t negate the fact that a biological mother and daughter’s relationship is over. That is heartbreaking.

And as much as we love Rosie, I still wish her mom could be what she needs her to be.

I pray for Rosie’s mom daily. I pray for her safety, for her to make better choices and for her to be the mother her daughter needs her to be. No one looking in knows her story, knows why she does what she does and makes the choices she makes.

I am so truly sad for her but so truly happy for us.  The conflict of feelings is hard to explain. But please don’t think I feel “victory in winning” the rights to be her parents.

I love Rosie so fiercely and I wish her biological family would love her just as fiercely. I will forever be trying to make up for everything she will miss out on in her life.

The other part of my emotions is just so ready for this to all be over. I feel like our life is on hold. There are things we want to do and travels we want to take but we are tied down.  We cannot take her out of Canada because we cannot get her a passport until she is a crown ward and there has been so many delays getting to this point. Family visits put on hold, vacation plans put on hold, moving put on hold. She is a part of our family, our option is to put her in a strange foster home while we go anywhere and we just hate the idea of that.

I am trying to be content with the present. I know God has us in this waiting period for a reason.

I look forward to the day when we can celebrate forever but for now I am just celebrating the joy of being her foster mama.

 

 

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